With Jesus, we find the power to hold the pain of life until it transforms us.
- Fr. Richard Rohr
I needed a plan. I needed a way to get control of this thing - to get on top of it, to make it submit, to make it cry uncle and relent, Okay! Okay! You win! Because the only thing worse than not having control is the realization that you never had it.
The words had been spoken.
I couldn't put the genie back in the bottle,
the toothpaste back in the tube,
the bullet back in the gun.
The words had been spoken.
Fear came fast to the surface, blowing bubbles like a swimmer as she empties her lungs of the last bit of air that has served her well below but will fail her now.
The words had been spoken.
No longer was this simply a question that raced like Flo Jo around and around the edges of my brain until it grew tired and retreated into the locker room for a time. No longer was Denial my partner in crime, because it had been detained and arrested and carried off in handcuffs in the back of a squad car. Fat lot of good you did me, Denial. Fat lot of good. You simply delayed the inevitable.
Yes, the words had been spoken - had pierced the lie and lanced the festering sore in hopes of a remedy, yet I was still blind to their efficacy.
It would be a while, still.
No comments:
Post a Comment